


Please Read Instructions Carefully Before Use

by InTheShadows



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Dramatic Tony Stark, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Italian Tony Stark, M/M, Pineapples, Rhodey can be a little shit too if he wants to be, Short & Sweet, Strong Opinions of Pineapple On Pizza, Teasing, mentions of Howard Stark's A+ parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 15:29:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20603105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheShadows/pseuds/InTheShadows
Summary: All Tony wants to do is make a pizza. That's all. It's a perfectly reasonable want - pizza is great and he is hungry. Too bad Rhodey insists on ruining it instead. Who putspineappleonpizza?For IronHusbands Week Day 3 - Pineapple/"You know what you are doing right?"/Height difference





	Please Read Instructions Carefully Before Use

“Rhodey,” Tony says suspiciously as he eyes the pizza ingredients in front of him, “why is there pineapple on the counter?” 

Rhodey smiles innocently at him, as if that is believable. It’s not, not anymore than Tony’s is. “I’m just getting out everything we need. What? Is there something wrong?” 

“Something - something wrong?” Tony sputters, “ _ Something wrong _ ? You are not putting that anywhere near our pizza. It is an abomination. It is a disgrace. It is an offense to Italians everywhere.” He waves his hands in emphasis. “What if this gets out? My heritage will be disowned.  _ Disowned _ honey bear. Is that what you want? I will never be able to go back to Italy again!” 

Rhodey, being the ever understanding and supportive boyfriend that he is, just rolls his eyes. “Sure thing Tones.” 

“ _ You do _ ,” Tony gasps, “you do want me disowned. Don’t you love me anymore? I thought what we had was something special.” He stares at Rhodey with his best puppy dog eyes. 

Rhodey snorts, but can’t quite keep the smile off of his face. “Italy isn’t going to disown you, don’t be such a drama queen.” 

Tony quirks an eyebrow. “Have you met me?” Because really, that’s like telling him not to breathe. “You know what you are doing right?” he continues, “You are going to murder our pizza. Murder it. Take a perfectly good pizza out back and shoot it.” 

Now Rhodey is just full out grinning at him. “Is that so? What if I tell you that I like pineapple on my pizza?” 

“Then I’m sorry, but we can no longer be together,” Tony shakes his head, “What we had was good, but I cannot be with a person who thinks - Rhodey!” he squeals, trying to squirm away from him as he tickles him mercilessly. 

Rhodey boxes him in against the counter and continues without remorse. “What was that genius? What were you saying?” 

“Stop, stop,” Tony pants with a helpless grin, “Platypus!” 

“Still can’t hear you Tones.” Rhodey is clearly enjoying himself far too much with this if his grin is anything to go by. 

How rude. Tony is feeling distinctly used right now. “I love you,” he shouts, “love you, you’re the best, the brightest, the love of my life, never going to give you up, never going to let you down, stop, stop it.” His sides hurt from laughing so much. 

“That’s what I thought you said you dork.” Rhodey finally stops, satisfied smirk on his face. “Really Tones you should have said that in the first place.” 

“Ass,” Tony accuses without heat. 

Rhodey kisses his forehead, still far too amused. 

“You missed,” Tony pouts, trying to hide his own smile. 

Rhodey kisses him again then, all soft and sweet. It’s a bit awkward with both of them smiling like this, but they make it work. 

“You still aren’t putting pineapple on our pizza though,” Tony can’t help but add. Because he isn’t. In no way, shape or form is that going anywhere near it. 

Rhodey laughs. “Hasn’t anyone told you to eat your fruit and veggies so that you’ll grow up big and strong? Pretty sure you can use all the help you can get.” 

“ _ Ass _ ,” Tony repeats, then pauses, “I think Jarvis and Ana have mentioned it before - or at least Jarvis. That sounds like something he would say,” he says thoughtfully, “But I think at this point it’s useless. All the alcohol has probably stunted my growth too much.” 

“From two years?” Rhodey frowns, “Also shouldn’t that be a sign to  _ stop _ drinking?” 

The laugh Tony gives is nowhere near as happy as the ones before. There is a bitter edge to his voice as he admits, “Howard gave me my first drink when I was nine. Make a real man out of me.” His smile is more teeth then joy. “Starks aren’t sissies you know.” 

Rhodey sighs and drops another kiss to his forehead. “Way to kill the mood there.” He wraps Tony in a tight hug. 

Tony shrugs and returns it, sagging against him. “I’ve been told I’m good at that.” They stay like that for a long moment. “But we still aren’t putting pineapple on our pizza. Seriously honey bear what are you thinking?” 

Rhodey pops a piece into his mouth and smiles. “Whatever you say genius.” 

“That’s right. Glad you finally figured it out sweetheart. It makes things so much easier.” He stands on his tiptoes to kiss Rhodey again. It taste like pineapple. 


End file.
